The One With Zach Funnies

I love 5 year olds. They are so funny! Zach loves those As Seen on TV commercials. Whenever they're on he is glued to the tv. I was in the shower just now and Zach came in. (Our shower door is textured but clear so he can see me but it's all blurry-like.) He noticed that I was shaving and got very upset.

Zach: No! Mom! You need one of those pink thingies.
Mom: What pink things?
Zach:The things that you go like this and does this.
Mom: Whu?
Zach: Yeah, so you never need to do that anymore. You don't have to shave anymore.
Mom: Oh, right! One of those things. I don't have one of those.
Zach: Well, you have to call the number and get one.
On and on he went telling me all about it.

Can you guess what these As Seen On TV products are before looking at the link?
He asked for three of these for Christmas so we don't have to raise our heating bill (one for him, mom and dad.)
We need one of these so our money doesn't blow out the door.
If we got one of these we wouldn't have to lift a finger!
His favorite commercials feature this guy--think Mighty Putty and Mighty Mend-It.
He told me he wants to go to the place with Logan that you wear the thing around here (wrist) and you get your tickets and has the cage. Place=?*

I asked him if he wants to grow out his hair like his cousin Matt. He said yes but he doesn't want the dots. What dots? Matt doesn't have dots on his hair. No, here, on his face. Dots=?*

He is the child that understands to put the thingy on the thingy, or vice versa. But what he does with that direction will change everytime as everything is a "thing that does this."

I always ask Zach why I lose everything. He said I should just put everything in a box. That's a good idea, but what if I lose the box? Well, you'll just have to buy more things, he said.Today I was looking for something and asked him why I lose everything. He said I should just write it all down. Smart boy.

*Answers: That place is Tropicanoe Cove. Those dots are freckles.